At a recent press event entertaining the usual bobble-headed lemmings, Clinton was forced to take shelter as she was mercilessly targeted by ricocheting crosshair rounds. The perpetrators managed to escape before the Clintons private task-forces arrived on scene, but it is suspected that the attack was instigated by surrogate proxies conscripted by the Obama campaign to finally neutralize the Clintons before their egomania fueled protracted internecine strife completely self-destructively implodes the Democratic party.

Eye-witness accounts relay that the entire Clinton entourage, Hillary Rodham herself, club-wielding grunt security personnel, PR spindoctors and all, scurried away from the scene like cowardly puppies who’s established territory and sense of protection were finally penetrated.

When asked for comment, Clinton expressed absolute bemusement, confessing that “this was even worse than Bosnia!”.

Asked about his reaction to the incident, Obama drly replied “Senator Clinton acted like a typical white person.”