The last week or so has given rise to a mass influx of holiday-themed advertisements by nearly all the candidates; in the tradition of shameless pandering and political prostitution that is the trademark of America’s electoral process, nearly none the miserably unconcealed vote appeals managed to actually succeed in their presumed purpose, to inject some of the contagious cheer and societal fellowship that is emblematic of the season.

With the exceptions of Giuliani and McCain’s efforts, which were cheerfully funny and relatively moving, respectively, the laughable attempts at half-witted political goons to don some semblance of members of humanity was just a ludicrous little spectacle, especially the grotesquely artificial and prfoundly uninspiring and pathetic stunt of a bubble-headed, latent liberal hick like Mike Huckabee to embed the ugly symbol of the corss into the background of his ad.

But one ad really did manage to shine through this muddled political stratosphere of blathering, cronistic hucksterism, permeating the muck with a howlingly illuminating, impecably honest and intellect, as well as integrity, saturated message of hope and inspiration.

I of course speak of everyone’s favorite “Wicked Witch of Washington”, a woman of such sterling character and grace that she can actually claim with accuracy to be one of the few people who can say that they’re both a literal and figurative political whore. Now thats a commendable feat, and certainly a catagory where her competition couldn’t even hope to out-trump her.

And she exumes this demonstrated virtuosity as a political strategist once again with her new heart-warming and beckoning, yet simultaneously bold and assertive Christmas ad.

Awesome wasn’t it? Just puts everyone else to shame, although whenever I hear that cackle I somehow have the intense, inexplicable urge to tear my ears out and dismantle my speakers piece by piece…as if to make fully certain I’ll never have to hear such a hideous and ghastly noise again…

Weird.