Heres that special new feature I mentioned before…you finally get to listen to my sexaytastic voice! Check out the first Dystopian Blogcast on the new page above.

Aye, herbosexuals, those who have sex with flora. Also known as environmentalists. Also known as liberals. Anyway, I’ve got a couple suggestions on how best to reduce the vile depredations of carbon dioxide and consequently save the world from the impending global warming calamity, check it out:

a. Since cows are the prime generators of putrid carbon dioxide visa vis toxic flatulence, I suggest mass cow genocide. This is an obvious global warming solution conspicuously overlooked by the environmentalist brigade, perhaps because most of them are also vegans? I guess you guys are going to have to decide, whats more important….that poor cow or the future of the planet? Toughie.

b. Regress technology to primordial stone age mechanics. As in, lose the electricity, petroleum, and all vehicular trasnport of course. Sorry Hollywood, I guess now you won’t be able to fly around on your private jets warning plebian America about the dangers of private transportation to the environment. Irony is a plot device they never taught at Berklee.

c. And finally, stop breathing. Extracting pure oxygen and expelling C02 24/7 is repugnant, irresponsible and downright conservative. You want New York to flood over, huh? You want all those polar bears to drown do you? You want the onset of a Rainforest Ragnarok on your conscience you right-wing slugs? Well then stop breathing already! Go ahead, I call for all liberals, environmentalists, hippies, and the oh so enlightened members of the San Fransico socialite enclave to stop breathing immediately so as to be a progressive example for the rest of the world.

Chop chop. Mother Earth is wailing.

Due to the recent en masse incursion of homo-erotic liberal traitors…..erm…scholarly commentary on the site (mainly comprised of my oh so clever school colleagues ) I’ve designated an area in which the mentally able and challenged can praise or defy me. Sort of like Maddox’s mail-page, except more awesome.

Oh, and another awesome new site feature should be ready for unveiling soon enough, I’ll keep you guys in suspense because i can.

It really is astonishing, it hasn’t even been a week out of the horrendously tragic incident at VT, the only thing anyone should be concerned about right now is grieving and how best to pay tribute to the poor souls who’s lives were cut short by that wretched creature Cho Seung-hui.

Yet by in large the media chatter surrounding the massacre has been occupied by either airing and re=airing that repulsive suicidal video “manifesto” the monkey sent to NBC, or making absurdist theories about his motives and what caused his profoundly traumatized state-of-mind.

First let me commentate on that video. Some people argue that it never should have been aired, that its too disturbing for television, hell some have even said it might inspire other killers. I disagree to an extent, freedom of the press and assembly are alive and well in this country, I’m no NBC fan but they have the right to air whatever the hell they want, if you don’t want your kids watching it change the damn channel. Frankly its quite fascinating to watch the first time, gazing into the face of someone who has completely relenquished his soul is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and concerned parents ought to be informed that their kids watch more corrosive programming on TV all the time. Might as well have them watch something far milder thats actually real.

The problem I have is when the same clips are repeated over, and over, and over, and over. For Christ’s sake we get the point, this isn’t absolutely essential material…and more importantly, this is the 21st century. As in, the age of Youtube.

The second point of gripe which I have with the media coverage of this issue is the mass politicization and sadist apologia it has generated. Liberals are whining that the kid was “bullied” while growing up and not enough gun control laws. Conservatives are whining about immoral social norms that caused Seung-hoi’s descent into madness. Both are congruent in their de facto justification and/or sympathasizing with a mass-murderer. Let me lay it on the line for those still too daft to comprehend the glaringly apparent:

The only person to blame for this demented lunatic’s behavior is himself. It isn’t because he was bullied, if that was the case every kid with glasses and an IQ over 40 would be prosecuting Columbine-esque massacres daily. It isn’t because of gun control laws not being enforced enough, the inverse is true. It isn’t because of kids watching Grindhouse or playing Resident Evil 4, again any nerd could attest to that; I’ve done both extensively and I’d never even remotely consider killing someone (unless it was a liberal.)

So why did this abominable waste of human flesh kill those innocent people?

Because he was a fucking psychopath.

His family came to the country, worked hard, opened their own store and got his sister into Princeton. I’m surmising here, but I’m almost absolutely certain there was no family issues here. This cretinious vermin was innately mentally ravaged, a spectacular genetic reject if there ever was one, a teeming human cess-pool of blind hatred and viciously anti-social nihilism.

But if there is one social trend that should feel shame for at least in part inspiring this demon-child, it would be these neo-Gothics, affectionately adorned by popular culture the moniker of “emo”.

This same narcissistic ideology of egocentric despair, that the very axis of the planet gravitates from their petty complaints about their girlfriends or whatnot, this is the schema from which Cho Seung-hui emerged. In his sodden video the pathetic ass kept accusing us of inflicting upon him his “infinite despair”, that he was some sort of Jesus-esque martyr for all those like him, all those surrounded in unending woe.

If only we could have deported him to Sudan, to Gaza, to Kashmir, to Cambodia or South Africa…if only we could have shown him what real despair is, maybe we’d have a chance of penetrating his callous psyche.

This madman asserted that “we have blood on our hands”, that this society’s doing Some in the media are actually subscribing to that viewpoint, I am not. All I’m saying is that a certain vagrant cultural trend that has been growing as of late adequately reflects Seung-hui’s actions, and should be squashed. Beyond that no one is to blame for this and no one should be talking about blame or politics, the only reason I am is because everyone else is, the reason I posted ths was to try to get everyone else to shut the hell up and pay their respects to the deceased.

Some might call the harsh candor of my rhetoric overly-vindictive, I call it the truth.

I was already quite stricken with sadness and empathic grief for the victims and the families of the mortifying Virginia Tech massacre this morning. But just about an hour ago I was even more revolted by the behavior of the “journalist” vultures swarming around the press conference in which the university president and a police chief were disclosing what little information they had to the press.

What I observed was not compassionate reporters speaking with objective dignity; no, what I bore witness to with feverish clarity was a shameless lynch-mob. Barrage after barrage of stupid, unanswerable, innane questions meant only to irritate the speakers or satisfy some meaningless bureucratic quota. Preposterous hindsight questions of “why didn’t you do this” or daft accusations of security holes were all that these narcissistic ass-monkeys had to offer. Let me provide a simple rebuke to the media at large:

Hey, jackasses. Until pathetic liberal morons like yourselves stop inhibiting our second-ammendment right to arm ourselves, there is nothing anyone can do to prevent tragedies like this. You gawk and sneer at the universty president and police captain for “allowing this to happen”? If some suicidal psychopath wants to kill people, there isn’t anything anyone can do except protect themselves via firearm, a right endowed by the Constitution. A right you liberals have denied.

Indeed already leftist propagandists have shamelessly taken advantage of this emotionally-charged event to transform it into a catalyst for even more gun control nationwide. Thats no solution, thats further kindling the flame. And they say Republicans have been depriving us of our civil liberties…

But truly the mainstream media is a laughable disgrace, they ask more questions when the time is inappropriate or unncessary than when questions are desperately needed.

Like when North Korea failed its deadline to dismantle its nuclear reactors in exchange for the immense economic perks and goodies we’ve funneled them, a staggering foreign policy blunder and a heinous crime by the truly wicked Kim Jong Il. There should have been a cataclysmic press maelstrom about this issue…

But clearly the liberal media is far beyond such trivial matters; its more concerned about harrasing devasted university faculty and interviewing exiled American Idol contestants.

Freedom of the press indeed.

You’ve just won the $100,000 Powerball lottery grand prize!

And guess what else you shamelessly manipulative lucky asshole, on top of your parasitically attained, undeserved millions, you get a free gift! Your very own baby! We even named it for you, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern! Name sound kind of retarded?

Fuck you too, you get what you pay for you loathsome simian bimbo. You didn’t give a damn about your daughter before, now you tearfully return to claim her when an untold fortune rests for the reaping? Was your ruse even ever meant to be taken seriously?

I guess you’re not quite as cretinous a disgrace to the human genome as is Howard Stern (both of them I suppose), who wasn’t even smart enough to think 5 minutes ahead and forsee the inevitable collapse of his snivelling escapade with the onset of DNA testing. But you’re still a royal jackass, Birkhead.

I don’t know who I really feel more pity for right now, your poor daughter, who will now surely lead a bleak and meaningless life with an uncaring father and too much money to spend, ultimately ending up in some Miami rehab clinic to rot somewhere…

…or Don Imus, a hopelessly pathetic ugly ass who’s being crucified for saying something in passing thats tamer than what black comedians say every day without the slightest bit of controversy. Guess he didn’t get the politically correct memo…

Eh, screw them both to hell, there are more valuable people the news should be focusing on and deserve far more sentiment than any of these bufoons. Like our soldiers, being blown to bits everyday by Islamist supremacists…

But the media will have none of that; celebrity children of fortune custody cases and washed up talk-show host tales of woe are far more lucrative ventures.